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If it's your fault, accept it

["Walt's World with Walter Jones"]
Walt's World with Walter Jones

Walt's World with Walter Jones

There are people in this world who think their main purpose in life is to determine who is to blame.

You know this person. You are walking down the street and you stub your foot on a bit of concrete that a city worker negligently forgot to remove.

You might expect to hear from this person, "My God are you alright?" You hear instead, "if you had watched where you were putting your feet, this wouldn't have happened."

These people are not unfeeling people, in fact most are very compassionate people who will go out of their way to be kind. They help in emergencies, volunteer services, and go the extra mile to help the less fortunate.

They just have this compulsion to assign blame. They believe there is a cause for every misfortune, and the sooner they make it clear who or what is to blame the better. I don't understand this.

Why is this important? Do they do this because they are afraid that they might have to be at fault and are quick to assign it to another?

Another thing they seem to feel compelled to do is to tell you how to do things better. The way they would do them. The choice of course is to get these people out of your life or learn to live with them.

I choose to live with them because of all their other outstanding qualities. If any of you are struggling to live with this person here is how I manage. When you are blamed, accept it, arguing, only makes this person think you are moving the blame to them. By accepting, I mean ignore it.

The same goes for when they are telling you how their way is better than what you are doing, even if they are so bold as to tell you your way is stupid.

If you can't ignore, say things like I will consider that or perhaps you are right, then carry on as you were. Sometimes of course they are right. If their way is better be big enough to accept this. If this seems like a lot of bother, then that is your problem. You could be associating with people who may be easier to get along with, but do not have their qualities.

Walter Jones lives in Amherst. His column appears weekly in the Amherst News.

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