SHIRLEY HALLEE: The wrong kind of love can be deadly

A beautiful young woman spoke with several of her friends asking advice on how to break up with her boyfriend. The relationship was so stressful to her that Kristin Johnston indicated that she was doing what she could so she would not be at home with him. It seems that Nicholas Butcher lost the lease on his apartment and had recently moved into Johnston's home in Purcells Cove.

According to court coverage, the evening of her death Johnston had been with a couple of friends at one of the fellow's upper level flat listening to a Johnny Cash record when they heard footsteps – and all of the sudden Butcher appeared. Johnston went outside and when she came back she indicated she had ended the relationship. She then indicated she would be staying over, thus avoiding seeing Butcher at her home.

One friend left and she remained in the flat with Michael Belyea. Again there were footsteps, this time in Belyea's kitchen, Nicholas Butcher had returned. Belyea decided to give them space and went for a walk. When he got back, Johnston and Butcher were gone. Three hours later, Johnston was found bloody and dead in her home. Nicholas Butcher had amputated his hand and caused several pucture wounds to his neck. He had called 911 asking for help.

It would seem that Kristin Johnston did not understand the probable risks regarding Nicholas Butcher. One very telling point was made when Johnston indicated that she didn't love Butcher the way he loved her. It is very possible that obsession would better describe Butcher's feelings. Johnston also indicated to friends that she felt trapped, which would certainly describe a relationship that is suffocating.

The final point of concern would be that Nicholas Butcher was able to locate Kristin Johnston that evening, at an address she had acquired only a few hours earlier. This might indicate extreme detective work on Butcher's part or he may have been stalking her. Either behaviour indicates that he was obsessed with Johnston. Love does not trap and love does not result in an alleged brutal murder.

At this point in time the “what ifs” will not help Kristin Johnston, or Kristin's friends or Nicholas Butcher. Butcher has entered a “not guilty” plea. With the clear-cut evidence that has been produced he might be looking at a not-criminally responsible factor. Regardless, Butcher's life is pretty much in the ditch. Still, there are lessons others might learn from this very tragic situation.

While there may be physical attraction early in a relationship, love takes time to develop. Very early pronouncements of love might reflect obsession and/or a need to control. If one partner feels the need to break away from a relationship, yet has concerns about how to do just that, extreme caution is necessary. If there are hints of threats, or actual threats made, it is imperative that professional advice is accessed.

Shelters for abused women offer counselling. Autumn House can provide help to those needing to remove themselves from a negative relationship. Most of the time a break-up results only in a bit of bruised ego, hurt feelings, and those heal with time. Violent death cannot be healed.

Shirley Hallee’s column appears weekly in the Amherst News