I just finished a maple dip donut. I ate a chocolate dip donut this morning, and an ice cream sandwich at lunch.
That’s right, it’s Tuesday. Weigh in was this morning; another week down, and I’ve given myself an extra 500 calories today in hopes of staving off a total pig out (that’s right, two donuts and an ice cream don’t qualify as an Eric Sparling pig out).
But food…sweet nourishing food. Sweet fattening food. We all have our favourites. Our time together grows short – just a month and a bit – so now seems as good a time as any to sing the praises of my favourite treats.
Ice cream sandwiches. The Neapolitan ones, with strawberry, vanilla and chocolate – all three – in every sandwich. My wife’s colleague says she doesn’t like the strawberry part, but that’s just foolish talk.
Sobey’s dark chocolate cake. They sell cake by the slice for $1.25. I assume it’s day old, but I’ve never asked. Whatever. Still tastes great. Three pieces of cake – chocolate, maybe vanilla, and one of those hamburger-themed cake slices (just to be wild) – for less than $5. That’s what I call a tasty supper.
Garlic fingers with donair sauce. Forget the pizza. Pizza’s good, but really, why bother? I want cheese and dough and sugar. My wife leans towards Freddie’s but I’m calling Bam’s.
Mint Aero bars. Have you seen the colour of the green bubbles inside? They’re made from mashed leprechauns and they’re delicious.
I have to give credit where it’s so very due: Carrot cake from the Big Stop. Man. I’d donate your kidneys, both of them, for a piece.
Hoegaarden and nachos at Duncan’s, grilled cheese with ketchup, pancakes with maple syrup, a chocolate milkshake, tea biscuits bought at Pharmasave, Quaker Harvest Crunch.
All chocolate chip cookies.
An extra five hundred calories isn’t enough.
This is not an advice column. Please consult a medical expert or nutritionist for sound dietary advice. Eric Sparling is an Amherst Daily News reporter, and former senior editor at Oxygen, a women’s fitness magazine.