I’m thinking about renaming the column. Super-Size Me has a nice ring to it, dontcha think? I’m surprised no one’s used that for something…
I’m not going to turn this into a self-pity party. I blew it, period. I could have had one ice cream sandwich, but instead had three. Pretty much sums up my week. I’ll either get my act together or I won’t. If I expect you to keep reading, it better be the latter.
So instead of a play-by-play of failure, I thought I’d emphasize the positive this week. I’ve dropped less than 15 pounds, but even that modest amount has yielded a few positive things.
I snore less. Oh, I still snore plenty. But instead of sounding like a chainsaw hell-bent on toppling a Douglas fir, I’m more like a lightly wheezing fireplace bellows. Or so I assume. I mean, it’s kind of hard to hear yourself snore, right?
I’ve dropped a pant size. Was 38, now 36.
I don’t feel like garbage every morning, and my chest doesn’t have a tight feeling all the time, like I’m one éclair away from a coronary. That’s definitely an improvement.
I feel a little lighter on my feet, I suppose. Not a major difference, no, but it seems my pace has picked up a little.
I don’t have to hold my breath when I tie my shoes. That’s a big bonus. And I don’t have bad heartburn when I’m horizontal.
Really, it’s a fairly impressive change for a relatively small weight-loss. Now just imagine how much better I’d feel if I actually lost the amount I’m supposed to.
I bought running shoes. You may recall a commitment I made to running the Cross-Border 10-K next year. Well, it’s time to start walking. One day I may even break into a run.
This is not an advice column. Please consult a medical expert or nutritionist for sound dietary advice. Eric Sparling is an Amherst Daily News reporter, and former senior editor at Oxygen, a women’s fitness magazine.