Britney Spears moans, writhes and squeaks through her new disc

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Review: From one pedophilic disaster to another - it's Britney panting, moaning and writhing on her most sexual (and disturbing) dance-pop album.

Review: From one pedophilic disaster to another - it's Britney panting, moaning and writhing on her most sexual (and disturbing) dance-pop album. "Your touch, your taste, your breath, your face," she whispers seductively on Heaven on Earth, which starts off with a promising French house rhythm, then descends into glossy pop drivel. Yet why does Spears always have to sound like she's six? Eeeeuw. It's not even her natural voice - the 26-year-old mother of two relies on computer effects to give her the extra squeak and childish octaves on tracks such as Get Naked (I Got a Plan), and Toy Soldier (Worst Song Ever). OK, I added those last three words - it's an atrocious number with Betty Boop-style vocals, electro squiggles and drum-line percussion. (Think Gwen Stefani, circa 2004.) Naturally, it's impossible to listen to Blackout without thinking of Brit's recent troubles - only because she brings them up, particularly on Piece of Me, a choppy number contrasting robo vocals with orgasmic chants. "I'm Miss Bad Media Karma / Another day, another drama / I guess I can't see the harm in working and being a mama / And with a kid on my arm / I'm still an exception," she sings as chains clink, signifying the shackles of her fame. Not only is it the best track on the album, it's one of the most delicious guilty pleasures of the year. You just might black out with shock. Rating: Two-and-a-half stars out of five.

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