Operation Arc Light

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Just in case you’re making plans for the weekend, don’t include eating raw crayfish in the schedule. Apparently they carry worms that will travel from your intestines and dig their way into your lungs: http://www.stltoday.com/lifestyles/health-med-fit/fitness/one-more-thing-to-avoid-while-drinking-swallowing-crawfish/article_e2bf80f3-ba95-552e-96e7-006be7e814b7.html

If you’re really unlucky, the worms can travel to your heart or brain. If you’re really lucky, though, when it reaches your brain, you’ll simultaneously be hit by a meteor and exposed to radiation, transforming you into the superhero Crawman: http://www.deltanewsweb.com/archives/images/sean_lobstersuit.jpg

A bear live-trapped on MacDonald Road was killed by DNR, with the justification it couldn’t be relocated. In Arizona, dog owners want a fenced in park built to keep their pets safe from rattle snakes and javelinas: http://www.azfamily.com/news/Wild-javelinas-and-rattle-snakes-in-Anthem-concerning-pet-owners-162150735.html. And a California beach has seen 41 swimmers injured by stingrays: http://www.utsandiego.com/news/2012/jul/11/41-stingray-victims-treated-at-la-jolla-beaches/

Nature is clearly out of control. It’s important we take measured steps to safeguard our communities from wild animals. I’d like to propose limited air strikes as a precaution: http://vietnam.cncguild.net/images/wallpaper/ac130_wallpaper1024x768.jpg

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