I always said there would be a zombie apocalypse.
My wife called me crazy when I wanted to build a bunker behind the house. She said I was nuts when I argued for the installation of a crowsnest at the top of a spruce on our property. She threatened to phone the hospital when I told her I wanted to buy a surplus tank (http://www.tanksforsale.co.uk/).
But it’s here. Dismembered body parts in the mail, a face eaten in Florida. And now a university student has confessed to eating parts of his housemate in Maryland: http://baltimore.cbslocal.com/2012/05/31/man-denied-bail-after-dismembered-body-parts-found-in-home/.
Maybe now I can justify stocking up on MREs, flashlight batteries, water purification tablets and tools (http://www.gerbergear.com/Apocalypse/Gear/Apocalypse-Kit_30-000601).
If the zombies don’t get you, the government will. The New York Times has exposed a weekly meeting President Obama leads in which potential targets for assassination by drone strike are debated (an overview of media coverage: http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/cifamerica/2012/may/31/unmanned-drones-obama-administration). Which is not to say targeted assassinations are automatically bad. In fact, it seems like an eminently smart way to eliminate terrible people. But talk about your slippery slopes…!
With all this terrible news, it’s enough to drive you to drink, or perhaps a long hat soak with ‘bath salts’ (http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/nova-scotia/story/2012/05/30/ns-bath-salts-user.html).